Map it!My Love List
As a minister, I am called to participate with families in major decisions of their life. It shocks me how many are not prepared when faced with a major illness, disability, or death.
I have watched as families fought over what they thought were “mother’s wishes.” They did not know if mom had a will, where it was kept, if there was a safety deposit box, who had a key, if there was insurance, where money might be hidden away, if the funeral was prepaid, where mom wanted to be buried — and the list goes on.
Those crises of life will come to all of us. It is just as critical for the 30 year old to consider these matters as the 80 year old. I witness young families who feel that they are too young to make a love list, and elderly who don’t wish to talk about the inevitable.
I call this My Love List. If you have ever tried to settle the estate of someone who died with such a list, you will understand what I mean. One of the most loving things you can do is leave your heirs this list that will tell them everything they need to know to settle your estate. This list will save them hundreds of hours and potentially thousands of dollars.
If you are married with children, you need a will. Who will raise your children if you and your spouse are killed? Well meaning grandparents go to court over that one too.
Everyone needs a Power Of Attorney. If you are debilitated, who will handle your affairs?
The materials that follow need to be filled out now and reviewed periodically. Financial holdings and insurance probably change annually and need to be updated. I update mine every year when I prepare my taxes.
If you don’t trust your family with your financial information, don’t give them that information now. Do, however, fill out the forms, place them in a safe place, and tell your family where they can find them when you become incapacitated.
I encourage people to make their will, living will, Power of Attorney and Healthcare Power of Attorney information known to their family. In some cases, some of it may take some getting used to. Likewise, if you have special funeral plans, such as donating your body to science, that should be discussed with your family in advance or they may attempt to overrule your wishes.
Many individuals have special collections that other family members do not value. I suggest adding pages to your Love List that will give them some idea of value or how to achieve maximum value when disposing of them. The world is full of mercenary collectors who will take advantage of your heirs.
One last thing is not included in these pages. You may also wish to make a list of who among your family and friends you would like to see inherit specific items. Your heirs may not know that your friend always admired a painting on your wall and that you want your friend to have it.
There is a lot of love in these pages.
Download the full “My Love List” now.
Steve Sandifer
Southwest Central Church of Christ
4011 W. Bellfort
Houston, TX 77025